Blogpost #2 : Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

Question: Have you ever had a real interpersonal conflict situation?


Lucinda: The words ‘interpersonal conflicts’, brings back a roller coaster ride of emotions for me personally. I believe interpersonal conflicts are complex in itself as there could be many factors contributing to it, some of which I could be unaware up till this point of time. Of course I would like to have these conflicts resolved eventually, instead of leaving a deep scar on me for life.

Let me just share my story.

Background: I had a very close group of friends right from Secondary three, where we spent a lot of time together. One particular girl, Z, whom I know since secondary one, went on to the same Junior College as me! Of course I was extremely happy to know that we were in the same class. We had common interest in playing tennis, joined the school tennis team and even went for coaching sessions together.

Issue: Just as I thought things were only going to get better for us, the events took a change in direction. I started to realize that Z is actively trying to avoid any contacts with our group of old friends. She would find reasons not to attend our birthday gatherings, said she was too busy to have short dinners to catch up with us and even start to avoid our calls and messages. I really had no idea why she did that, but I do note that Z became very close with new found friends who are either very good at their studies or are from very rich families. She would borrow many notes from those with good results and hang out with them very often. That is when I started to feel her drifting further apart from our group of close friends. Although her actions were very obvious that she is over and done with, with regards to her group of secondary school friends, I still tried to get her involved in our activities as much as possible. Try as I might, things did not improve and I started to feel helpless in mending this relationship that is going nowhere.

Then it happened yet again, the same exact situation, applied to the current clique of friends in Junior College. The awkwardness between us continued for weeks, months and eventually ending up one day in a snap where she simply decided to walk off to join another clique in class from then on. We tried to have a confrontation but ended up too overwhelmed with emotions to talk about the real issue. That was apparently a very clear signal to an end in our precious 5 years of friendship. I was exhausted in the one-way effort to salvage the situation, hence I accepted it.

Perhaps people change and it is normal that they move on? Perhaps Z was more focused on her studies at that point of time? Perhaps that is her character? Perhaps I was not proactive enough in maintaining a friendship? Perhaps I was an ineffective comunicator? Where was the root of the problem? Unanswered questions and questions were running through my mind.

I would like to sum up with a little question for readers: Do you think this is an interpersonal conflict that could really be resolved?

Blogpost #1 : Why effective communication skills are impt for me?

In the module ES2007S Professional Communication, we will get to learn the essential fundamentals of communication so that we will emerge to become very effective communicators with good interpersonal skills that goes a long way in life!

Q: Why effective communication skills are important for me in the globalised society today?

Thoughtsb0x: When we go about doing our daily activities, we are inevitably engaged in communications, whether knowingly or unknowingly to us! (: Communication is therefore a very integral part of our lives and all the more we must ensure that these communications are effective ones in order to maintain good relationships with others and to get us where we want to. We communicate with higher authorities, with fellow peers, with new people we meet, with family members and even self-talk with ourselves.

Take for example: At more formal level when I need to apply for a job/internship with corporate companies, I would have a stronger edge over other fellow applicants if I am able to use the right words, convey my message across clearly/effectively and present myself well during the very impressionable interview session. This is the important stage that potential employers assess whether to give me a chance to work in their company without looking at my actual capabilities at their particular field yet! So, YES effective communication is exceptionally important to get me to my goal.

Take another example: At a more informal level when I need to communicate with friends. It would be disastrous if my tone/ non-verbal cues are such that they give my friends the wrong meaning as I originally intended! Repeated ineffective communications would strain our relationship and eventually misunderstandings could lead to quarrels and the breakdown of one precious friendship!

In a nutshell, I strongly believe that to communicate effectively is the way to a fulfilling life that is under my own control (: